One day when Gregory was very small - less than two years old - we went and bought two giant candy apples.  They had caramel and chocolate and nuts.  We sat together in the afternoon sun and ate every last bite.  I was young, but had to be GROWN UP, since I was already a MOM.  On this day, I felt excited and childlike.  Seeing him all sticky and smiley made me happy too.  I was still between two worlds.

One day when Lily was two weeks old, I went to meet some friends for a play date.  I was trying to act like have 4 children under 6 was EASY and FUN!  As we gathered in the backyard my "big" kids climbed a very high TREE HOUSE!  Ella was only 18 months old & I was very nervous she would fall.  But Lily was screaming to nurse and I was really bad at asking for help.  So I climbed the tree house with tiny Lily in my arms and fed her while I watched Ella play.  I was perched high above the play date, sweating & not ...